on being pregnant

so for those of you who don't know yet, i'm currently 15 weeks pregnant with our third sweet miracle.  i've been hoping for and dreaming of this pregnancy for a long time, even before we were ready for it to happen, and so i had lots of time to create in my head many mental images of what the pregnancy itself would be like and how i would document it.  with my first two babes, i didn't own a dslr, much less know how to operate one, so i had big plans for making sure i documented this one- our last one- in a beautiful, dreamy, life-is-so-good sort of way.

and then, i got pregnant.  for the first 24 hours following the appearace of that second pink line, it was all rainbows and glitter explosions in my mind.  and then, reality hit like an overtired toddler wielding a baseball bat in a very crowded room.  every time i turned around to try to make my dreams of documenting this magical time a reality, i would get whacked in shins- by morning sickness, by doctors appointments (with 2 little ones in tow, nonetheless), by sheer exhaustion, you name it.

after a few weeks of feeble and failed attempts at belly portraits, i eventually just gave up and took this photo:

i mean, at least the light was nice and you could see that my belly is noticeably growing, even in the first trimester.  and between that photo being taken and today (it's been several weeks), i haven't been able to muster the energy to try for another, nicer shot.  i've gotten in the frame with my boys a handful of times, but never to specifically document being pregnant.  it's just too much to think about along with everything else i want or need to get done.

so today, after a long (long, long, looooooooong) day with my boys, several days of not showering because sleep has been winning the battle of "how should i spend my time tonight", and realizing i still hadn't taken a photo for the day, i decided to throw my lofty ideas of pretty maternity photos out the window.  i might take a few towards the end once i'm all big and round, but for now, pretty just isn't the place that i'm in.  i'm tired.  i'm frizzy.  i've got circles under my eyes and the same sweatpants on my butt for days.  i'm raising two kids while growing a third.  and i'm okay with it.

so, i'm starting the real maternity portraits project.  real pictures of what it looks like to really be pregnant once you've already got kid(s) to chase.

today's edition: text husband 5 minutes before he leaves work begging him to bring home french fries.  kiss him when he walks in the door, tell him you love him, then swipe the fries and run upstairs.  lock the bedroom door behind you to eat the french fries, just you and the inside baby, in the quite solitude of the setting afternoon sun.

silence and rule breaking never tasted so good.

keep it real y'all :)