if you don't live in the northeast, then you may not be aware that it's been raining where i live since the start of time. or at least, it feels that way. we had this amazing stretch of beautiful, warm, sunny weather that prompted me to get my kids' summer clothes out a few weeks early and let us fully shake our cabin fever with long stretches of outdoor play every day. and then, the temperatures tanked and the rain started. and every night for at least the last 10 days, i would check the forecast and see sun 3 or 4 days away. and i would breathe a sigh of relief knowing that sunshine was coming. and every morning i would double check the forecast and the little sun had somehow been replaced with the little rain cloud icon overnight. and i would stare at it with large eyes and a quivering chin, and i would remind myself to breathe, and i would strap on my mom armor and remind myself that rainy cold weather can't last forever.
did you know 10 days actually is forever when you have 2 kids under 4? because it is. it is forever plus some.
so today, when stepping outside didn't feel quite so much like stepping into a damp, barely functional refrigerator, i decided to venture out while the kids were sleeping and feed my soul with a little nature. i took my camera, and i took the quiet, and i wound my way through my parents' front yard and soaked in the proof that it actually is spring and that summer really is coming, even if the weather refuses to admit it. i picked my way between branches that are just the right amount of overgrown to be beautifully quaint without looking unruly and i let myself shoot what i wanted to shoot and how i wanted to shoot, and i felt the weight of all the rain lifting. it's good, to find what feeds your soul, and to let yourself get lost in it every once in awhile. for me, being a momma fills me up and makes me feel complete and gives me purpose and reason and joy- but when i need something just for me, i've found that what i need is time to get lost. lost in a book, lost in my thoughts, or lost behind my lens, entrenched in the beauty of the creation that surrounds us.
today was good. it was a reminder that even in the rain, there is goodness all around if you're willing to take the time to look for it. and after i packed my camera up for the day, after i got my fill and was able to breathe a little more slowly and a little more deeply, i was able to settle back into the rhythm of life and reality with joy and thankfulness- and that's the best soul food there is.