suburban homestead

one of my very favorite things about doing documentary sessions is that i get to witness the way other people live their lives. i get to observe some startling similarities to my own life and all of the universal truths about parenthood and young children and just being a person trying to make it through the day, but i also get to see people doing amazing things that i could only ever dream of accomplishing.

this family, for example, decided a few years ago that they wanted to try growing a fig tree in their backyard, and since then, they have turned their entire yard into this incredible homestead with fruit trees, vegetables, berry bushes, herbs, and more flowers than I could ever learn the names of.

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it was amazing to me to see how they gave a purpose to every bit of space available to them, making use of the sunlight and the shade, and cleverly fitting in plants, trees, and bushes in spots that most people would deem unusable.

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the best part of it all, though, was seeing how their entire family tends to the garden together. the kids led me around the entire house, showing me the sections they planted on their own, naming their favorite herbs, and teaching me how to harvest the flowers and berries that were ready for picking. They ate foods right off the plant that my own children wouldn’t look twice at even if they were dipped in chocolate, and over and over again i found myself wishing we lived next door so that they could share some of their incredible knowledge (and maybe a little of their harvest!) with us.

as i followed them throughout the evening, i was in awe of the subtle flow of their routine. while mom and dad moved from section to section of the garden harvesting, weeding, pruning, and tending, the kids wove their way in and out of the work. they would pick, eat, explore, play, run, laugh, pick more, eat more, ask a question or two, help out a bit, run off for a little while, and then return. back and forth, from the garden to the swing set to the patio to the flower beds as the light from the setting sun drenched the tops of their heads and their shadows lengthened.

even amid the normal chaos of raising two young children, there was a peace that settled across their garden as they poured their time and love into it. they have worked together to create this space that provides a unique sort of life to their family that goes beyond food and dried herbs made into teas and tinctures- it is time spent together, a way to learn about and connect with the world that sustains us, and an appreciation for the value of hard work and commitment.

this homestead of theirs, this life that they have built, the family they are raising- it is a beautiful thing that was inspiring to witness and a privilege to document. happy homesteading :)

staying at home: infusion day

not too very long ago, as i pushed my way through the daily grind of stay-at-home-momhood, it occurred to me that stay at home parents face a unique set of challenges and possess a unique set of strengths.

before i go further let me clarify- every type of parenting is hard. single parenting. working parenting. mixed family parenting. adoptive parenting. special needs parenting. it's not a contest or a competition. we're all in the trenches. 
parenting. is. hard.

all the kinds of parenting share some of the same hard things, but they all each have their own unique hard things, too. and since i'm a stay at home momma, i'm up close and personal with the uniquely hard things that go along with stay at home parenting.

so as i got to thinking about these unique challenges and strengths, i also got to thinking about some of the other stay at home parents i know, and how they handle not only the struggles that come with being at home all day, every day with their kiddos, but also how they handle their OWN stuff on top of that.

cause some of these women i know, they've got some big stuff to handle.

and when i couldn't stop thinking about all of these things, i decided i needed to stop trying to stop thinking about them and start documenting them instead.

so i’m starting a new long term project with no timeline and no agenda other than to capture the realities of what parents raising their kids at home face every day. because there are some days when i feel like i can’t do it anymore, and i simply need to know that i am not alone in order to keep pushing forward, and i’m guessing i’m not the only one who feels that way.

i’m kicking off the project with a woman who is, day after day, my inspiration. she has a heart for God, a heart for others, and a heart for her children that never fails to amaze me. she faces life with grace, poise, faith, and strength, even in the face of difficulty, heartbreak, and uncertainty.

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this is my best friend, meredith. 10 years ago, meredith was diagnosed with crohn’s disease. an autoimmune disorder that affects the GI system, crohn’s disease has no cure and involves pain, uncertainty, medication, and lifelong dietary and lifestyle changes.

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when meredith was first diagnosed, she was newly married and working as a teacher. she was started on IV medication infusions to control her symptoms and slow the progression of the disease. every 6 weeks she would have to take a day off of work to spend several hours in the hospital to receive treatment alongside others with chronic illnesses. as she and her husband started (and then grew) their family, meredith stopped working to stay at home to raise and homeschool their two children. after consulting with multiple doctors and spending weeks praying and researching, they decided that she would continue with the infusions throughout her pregnancies and while breastfeeding. this meant that she now had to find time for her infusions along with childcare for while she was gone. on several occasions she even had to take her infant daughter with her to the hospital.

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and then meredith found out about a program that would allow her to receive her infusions at home. after jumping through the hoops inevitably present with the doctors, the insurance company, and the nursing program, she was able to set it up to have a nurse come to her home every 6 weeks to administer her treatment. this allows her to not only receive her medication in the comfort of her own home, but it also removes the stress of finding and arranging childcare- and, now that she’s expecting another baby, keeps her trips to the doctor’s office to a minimum.

while this change has its obvious benefits, it also presents its own set of challenges as well. on top of inviting a nurse into her home for several hours every 6 weeks, meredith also needs to keep their daily routine going while hooked up to an IV pole. she has to deal with the immediate side effects of the medicine while she continues to be a mother and a housewife.

she plays, fixes hair, makes lunches, does potty runs, settles little bodies for naps, snuggles tears away, cleans up messes, and dances to goofy youtube videos, all with an IV in her arm and a smile on her face.

to add to the balancing act, the day i was there taking these photos, she was still in the process of unpacking and organizing after their move just a week prior, AND she was taking care of two extra kiddos for the day. still, she continued on unfazed, handling the day with a positivity i’m not sure i would have been able to muster even on a normal day.

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the truth is, being at home with your kids every day can be a lonely and never ending cycle of caring for others. laundry, dishes, meals, messes, dressing, pottying, teaching, playing, negotiating, refereeing, guiding, loving, the list continually grows as it repeats itself. to say that it is easy for your own needs to get lost in the shuffle is an understatement. there is a certain beauty in meredith’s situation- her children are learning compassion and understanding for what others are going through. she is teaching them by example how to persevere when circumstances become difficult to endure. she is showing them how to lean on the Lord and His strength when your own falls short of what you need. it is not easy, but in the end, it is so very worth the struggle.

conversation update

melissa and i have kept on talking to one another as our summers have unfolded, and we both have really stretched ourselves in ways i don’t think we ever expected. i even used a street shot for one of my images instead of my own kiddos. we’ve looked at composition, colors, layers, framing, gestures, lighting, shapes, and moment. there are so many elements to our photographs that we never considered, and so many different ways to connect to an image.

here’s my latest reply to her:

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and below is our conversation from the beginning- click right to see the progression!

the conversation, continued

in case you missed my last post, here’s a quick recap:

  • my friend melissa is awesome and has the best ideas

  • her latest idea was to have a “photo conversation” with each other throughout the summer

  • i started the conversation with this photo-

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so now we’ve “spoken” back and forth a few times and let me tell you what- this project is every bit as wonderful as i anticipated (and then some).

here’s the photo i just sent off to her today. click right to start the conversation from the beginning to see how we got here!


conversation starter

i took some photos today for my 365.

they were not good.

i deleted all of them.

buuuut, i still have a deep rooted need to share a daily photo.

so, i thought i’d take this opportunity to share a new collaboration i’m starting with one of my very most favorite photographers, melissa hines. she is talented and brilliant and always comes up with the best ways for us to work together to help grow ourselves as artists (and humans).

this summer, we plan on having a conversation with one another entirely through photos.

yup.

how cool is that?

i kicked us off earlier this week by sending her this shot:

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and now i’m sitting over here eagerly waiting to see what her response is.

i’ll be blogging our conversation from time to time, with all of the previous images included so you can follow along.

it’s going to be a good summer :)

back to video

when i went to click away a few weeks ago, i took two classes on shooting and editing video. i’ve been wanting to get better at creating videos for awhile now, but somewhere in the chaos of homeschooling and raising three kids and moving and just life, i lost my spark. while i was in california, i could feel my creativity reigniting, and i got on the plane to come home with big ideas to create some new videos.

and then i got home, and everything just… fizzled. every time i sat down at my computer to compile any clips i had managed to take, i just felt overwhelmed and i let myself shut down. i felt frustrated and flat and i kept telling myself that if i couldn’t make something GREAT- why bother making anything at all?

here’s the thing though- that’s dumb. i read an article not too long ago about how when you start out creating something new, there’s going to be a gap between where you start out and when you’re good at it- and the only way to fill that gap is to make stuff. the bridge from new to expert is built with mediocre work that becomes progressively less mediocre the longer the bridge becomes.

so yesterday, i decided to stop overthinking and start building my bridge. video by video, i’m going to keep working on creating stories about my family that go beyond photos, so that one day i’ll be able to create stories about your families that go beyond photos as well.

celebrating charlie

two weekends ago, i had the pleasure of photographing “baby charlie”’s (as he is affectionately known around our home) fourth birthday party.

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i remember the day charlie was born, with his thick blond hair with the little front cowlick.

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i remember the day charlie was two pink lines, and his momma told me about the answer to their prayers as i snuggled and nursed my own little new one.

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i remember when charlie was a wish in his momma’s heart, and we talked and dreamed and hoped about the journey she had ahead.

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i remember when charlie’s momma and daddy got married, and the immensity of their love and joy and anticipation of everything their future held as they said i do.

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i remember when charlie’s momma walked into my life, and her friendship transformed me and lifted me up and brought me back from somewhere i had gotten lost without knowing it until i was found again.

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her beautiful heart is in his sweet soul. the light that shines from her eyes shines from his too. her kindness and concern for others, her love of animals and God’s creation, her heart on her sleeve- all these things she has given to charlie, and in these last four years they have grown and expanded in him and created a little one so vibrant and full of life that you can’t help but smile when you are with him.

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charlie, you are a precious gift to your momma and daddy, to your friends and family, and to anyone who is fortunate enough to cross your path. what an honor it was for me to be one more soul welcomed into your home overflowing with love and company to celebrate your four years with us.

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here’s to all that you are and all that you will be. happy birthday :)

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why documentary: your looks vs. your legacy

there are a lot of different names for the type of photography i do- family photojournalism, documentary photography, storytelling sessions, etc- but when you boil it down, they are all rooted in the same basic principle: to photograph your life as you live it. no posing, no direction, no special outfits or locations, just you and your people being who you are.

because the concept of this type of photography is still so new and generally unknown and misunderstood, it’s been my intention for awhile now to start a blog series on why documentary sessions are so valuable and meaningful. like many other things, however, it has continually gotten pushed to the bottom of the pile as other things popped up and took priority. i was frustrated with myself for not getting it done, but when i came home from a recent trip to visit my grandparents, i was thankful i’d put it off for so long. this set of photos was meant for this series, and it’s the perfect way to kick it off.

my grandfather turned 90 a few weeks ago, and so the day after thanksgiving, we all loaded up and made the 6 hour car trip to celebrate with him. it ended up being an 8.5 hour drive, so when we finally arrived, we all felt like this:

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And even though it poured the entire next day, we managed to have some fun in the condo my grandmother booked for us.

it was fun to capture these moments of my kiddos enjoying our trip, but what i was really looking forward to was creating photos of my grandparents. i don’t get to see them nearly as often as i would like, especially now that i have three little ones and road trips are a bit more challenging, and even though this was a solidly joyful visit, in the back of my mind, i was acutely aware that this could very well be the last time i get to see my grandfather.

i have many deeply fond memories of my grandparents from my childhood that reach far beyond the way they looked. i remember how their house smelled. i remember my grandmother’s meticulous decorating and her treasured possessions. i remember the way my grandfather would point when he was talking (see above!) or telling a joke. his laugh is still the same now, although perhaps a little bit slower and quieter than it once was. i remember the way my grandmother would tilt her chin up to look down through her glasses at the right angle as she focused on a task. i remember how she would always find a way to let me help, the way she let my boys help get some decorations ready for the evening’s party, and the way she always had something small but special on hand for me to keep as a reminder of our trip to see her (i don’t think she really bought these harry potter glasses for herself like she said she did!).


when we walked into their apartment a few weeks ago, all of those memories came flooding back, the way they always do whenever we manage a trip down to see them. i was determined to create photos that held evidence of who my grandparents are- the things they value, the way they care for and live in their space, the way they love us, and the way they love each other.

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if i had asked them to stand next to each other and smile, they would have done that for me. they would have put their arms around each other and stood close and beamed because their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren were surrounding them. but this- this is so much more. i waited and i watched and i was rewarded with this brief but deeply real and pure exchange of smiles and touch and love that has lasted through time and through life.

the rest of our trip was full of moments, large and small, that held significant meaning for me, each in their own way- people, gestures, expressions, interactions, connections. each was a part of something larger than itself; these moments were and are the building blocks that when put together, create who we are as a family, with my grandparents at the foundation. they have spent their lives pouring themselves into us so that when the time comes, we can continue their legacy for them.

here’s what we need to keep in mind when we choose to have photos of our family taken- we are so much more than the outfits we put together or the way we do our hair or the way that we smile. well coordinated and posed family pictures in a stunning location are a beautiful keepsake to have (i have dragged my own family out for quite a few, believe me), but there is so much missing from them. they can showcase how our faces change throughout the years, but they can’t document how we grow in our hearts and in our souls and in our lives. they are an accurate and lovely representation of our physical beauty, but they simply cannot show the depth of our personalities or the way that we interact with the world. i am so thankful for the last photo shown above because it will help me always remember how my beautiful grandparents looked in that moment, but i’m even more thankful for the other photos in this post because they show me the legacy that they lived and will leave for us; they will forever make me feel the way i felt when i was with my grandparents then and now, and that is a treasure worth holding on to.

your life isn't boring

a few nights ago, i did another session in my favorite spot in my favorite forest- which brought the count up to 3 out of the last 4 days spent photographing in the woods. i ooo’ed and ahhh’ed over its beauty with my clients like i always do, i gushed over how much i love it there, and i left satisfied that i created images of the family that were enhanced by the gorgeous location we were in.

but then something happened.

i came home, put the kiddos to bed, and while i sat next to my littlest kiddo making sure he was really asleep before i tried to escape, i scrolled through my newsfeed. in my newsfeed, i saw a photo from another photographer out west with a gorgeous, sweeping landscape with huge beautiful mountains in the background. and guys- i was immediately jealous.

my first thought was, “gosh, i wish i had somewhere beautiful like that to shoot”.

and then i thought “it’s just so boring here in pennsylvania”.

i had just left a forest of stunning, towering pines 2 hours prior. but i saw those snow-capped mountains in that photo and they were so beautiful and striking and eye-catching that they shoved my favorite forest right out of my head.

i started to sift through the photos i had taken that night, and i completely failed to appreciate just how lovely the backdrop of our shoot was. i was too distracted by the shot with closed eyes, the perfect shot that of course was out of focus, and the nagging remnants of that other photographer’s mountain photo still lingering in my mind’s eye. but then, God started working on my heart (as He so often does) and i started to see my photos again- to really see them- and something else happened.

something clicked in my mind and it occurred to me that in the last several months, i’ve taken photos in a forest, in a sunflower field, at a lake, on some boulders lining a creek, in a pumpkin patch, in a fruit orchard, on a hillside covered with dandelions, alongside a freshly planted corn field, and in a flower filled garden overlooking rolling hills. and i never had to drive more than an hour to take any of them.

so here’s the reality-

this.

is.

NOT.

boring.

and neither is your life.

hear me out on this one.

the reason a lot of people say they don’t want a documentary session in their home is because they’re afraid their life is too boring and won’t photograph well. but here’s the deal- your life ISN’T boring. it’s no more boring than the forest or the sunflower field or the lake that i frequent with my kiddos for day trips and photo ops. it only feels boring to you because you see it everyday. once something becomes a fixture in our lives, once we become accustomed to something, once our sense of wonder is replaced with a sense of familiarity, a false feeling of boredom starts to settle over us. we like things that are new and fresh and different. it’s why i was so easily distracted by another photographer’s image- they have a backdrop i don’t have access to, one i don’t see in photos often (or in person at all).

sometimes what we need to restore our sense of awe and wonder in the things that have started to feel stale in our lives is a fresh perspective. at the end of each day, ask your kids what their favorite part of the day was, or what they wish they could change about the day (their answers may surprise you). take a few minutes each day to observe the things around your home that serve as evidence that your people live there (example: this morning there were 3 nerf guns scattered across my living room floor). or, maybe, allow someone into your home to document your family as an impartial observer so that they can show you that your home, your family, your life are all every bit as stunning as a forest full of towering pines.

into the forest

in preparation for my first ever forest mini sessions next week in my favorite spot on earth, here’s a handful of the images i took for one of my favorite families on earth. these people right here were meant to be photographed in the forest. their beautiful souls belong outside among nature; you can tell that they feel at home here.

at the lake

most of the time, i’m wildly critical of my own work. i nit pick and get frustrated with what i should have done differently, and often, if i’m not planning on sharing the photos, i’ll do a quick edit, stash them in the proper folder, and permit myself to not look at them any more.

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but sometimes- every once in a great while- i’ll take a set of photos that i just can’t get enough of. that as i edit, i can feel my hands start to get all tingly with excitement because i want to edit faster so i can see the end result.

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this was one of those times- and i’m extra smitten with this particular set of photos because all but a select few were begging to be converted to black and white. and i know some of you color junkies may disagree with me, but i promise you, i tried most of them in color too and believe me- the black and white just makes them sing (i think it’s that lovely cloudy sky that does it).

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and who knows, maybe the reason i love them so much isn’t because there’s anything particularly fabulous about them, but because they perfectly illustrate just how lovely the evening was when i took them. the weather was perfect, the lake was quiet and empty, the children were happy, and the company was good.

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i’d argue that if that is the case- that i love them not because of their artistic quality but because of their emotional and personal quality- that that makes them even more valuable than if they were just beautiful photographs. what good is a visually stunning photo if it makes you feel nothing? i love these because i look at them and remember how the air felt on my skin that afternoon. i can smell the subtle hint of fall in the soft breeze. i can hear the scratch of the boys’ sticks across the sand and the baby’s footsteps as he tried to keep up.

i keep looking at these photos over and over because they are our life, and our life is good, even when things are crazy, or hard, or the world seems to have lost its way. i look at these photos and i am thankful for our quiet afternoon of peace, together, at the lake.

meet the photographer

hi :) i’m liz. it’s possible you’ve read the “about” section on my website already, but if you’re anything like me, you totally haven’t, and i don’t really blame you. when i go to a photographer’s website, i like to look at, you know… photographs. and if you’re on my site, i’d prefer for you to spend most of your time looking at mine. but, sometimes it’s nice to know a little bit about the person you’re hiring to photograph you, so i thought i’d jump on here and say hey.

a basic summary of who i am/what i do: i’m a jesus loving, 30-something mom of three beautiful boys (almost 6, 4, and 1). my husband works his tail off to provide for us so that i can stay home and homeschool them. this is our first year and i’m terrified of homeschooling but i’m also loving it with my whole heart even though i am drop dead exhausted at the end of every day. we just moved into a house 3x bigger than anything i ever pictured us in- but that’s because we bought it with my mom and dad and i absolutely cannot wait until they move in. it’s unconventional, but so are we and i’m so looking forward to the years ahead of us here together. i’ve loved photography for a long time, but i started seriously pursuing it almost exactly 4 years ago, when my second born was about 3 months old. i’m completely self taught and firmly believe that i will never ever know everything there is to know about this or any other thing and somehow that keeps me motivated to keep learning as much as i can.

there’s a few reasons i’m doing this post tonight. first- i haven’t blogged since march. maaaaaaaarch. that’s a stupid long time. and now that fall is here, i’m going to have lots of beautiful sessions with lots of beautiful people that i’m going to want to show off, which means i’m actually really for real this time going to start blogging again. really. and i thought this would be a good way to kick that off.

second- i enjoy writing, and i miss doing it, so here we go. words. that i have written.

third- after much hesitation and internal struggle/debate, i took this photo today:

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^ that’s me. in all my mom glory. headband, glasses, crusty sweats because all three of my kids are sick with the head cold i’m still kind of recovering from. i absolutely knew i wanted to do an intro post, and i absolutely knew i wanted to include a self portrait so you could put a face to my name if you don’t already know me, but i absolutely intended to wait to take it and post until the next day i could put on make up. or blow dry my hair. or get more than 3 hours of sleep the night before and then, you know, shower.

but here’s the thing. i currently do traditional portrait sessions, and i’ll probably always do traditional portrait sessions because i do enjoy them and i know people value and enjoy having posed, “everybody say cheese” photos on their walls. the truth though, is that my new mission is to convince every single one of you that you don’t want to hire me to take your portrait. you want to hire me to come document your life. and that means i show up at your house and you just do life like you would if i wasn’t there, except i am and i’m taking pictures of it because it is so much more awesome than you realize. but how can i ask you all to let me photograph you as you are if i don’t do the same? so even though this is posed, and even though i cheesed for the camera, this is still me, as i am, during my normal every day. sometimes i clean up and look nice and have on clothing that coordinates (and fits), but this is more honest. and i’m big on honesty.

so if you visit this space over the coming months, there’s (hopefully, ha!) going to be some posts with nicely posed families that are smiling and looking at me surrounded by a beautiful natural backdrop. but there’s also going to be some talk about why documenting is just as important (or if you ask me, more important) than just taking portraits. so get ready :)

a video for march

we kicked off spring up here in pennsylvania with a massive snowstorm- which meant two days off of work for my hubby, which meant i got some daytime hours to work on some things just for me :)  not only did i (finally) finish february's video project (see the post just before this one) but i also managed to shoot and film march's video for the group i'm working with.  the theme for this month was black and white- a personal favorite!- so i knew i wanted to keep it short, simple, and a little silly.  it may have cost me two lollipops to get what i was going for from my big kids, but it was definitely worth it!

february's second video

so it's march, and while i *should* be posting my first march video right now, instead i'm 3 weeks late in posting my second february video.  kid number 3 has proven to be an even bigger challenge at night than either of his brothers (didn't know that was possible), and because of that, much of my work time (ahem, all of it) has been consumed with rocking, swaying, shushing, and begging a certain 18 pound bundle of precious frustration to just.go.to.sleep.

anyway, the point is, i haven't had nearly as much time as i usually do to shoot or edit, so i've been prioritizing the best i can and unfortunately the videos i promised myself i'd be making twice a month have dropped to the bottom of the list.  still, better late than never.  the theme for february's video was "minimalism and negative space".  a little tricky as far as video is concerned, but i did my best.  enjoy!

a walk in the woods

it seems like a handful of times throughout the winter, the good Lord will toss us an unseasonably warm day to help us all recharge enough to make it through the remainder of the cold and dreary weather that remains.  today was one of those days.

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we're deep in the trenches of selling our house- today was our third day on the market and the second day in a row of several hours of back to back showings.  after a frantic morning of cleaning the house (because with three littles, clean doesn't stay that way very long), we were all ready for a chance to do something at a slower pace.  to say we were thankful to be greeted by bright sunshine and a warm breeze would be an understatement.  despite their initial protests, we headed to my favorite spot (a local hiking forest), and my kids had a (mostly) awesome time climbing rocks and tree stumps, scavenging for sticks and pine needles, and in general just walking and breathing and feeling the fresh air and sun on their sweet faces.

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to make me feel better about the fact that we haven't done any actual homeschooling since january ended, we had a brief discussion on the differences between conifers and deciduous trees, we discovered tree sap and discussed it's various properties and purposes, and we practiced their very favorite thing- map reading.

despite the fact that my oldest brought home a tiny hitchhiker (anyone else not have ticks on their radar yet since, you know, it's february???), it was a perfect way to spend our afternoon and to refill our tanks to help propel us through the rest of the season as we patiently await the arrival of spring.

an introduction to pears

one of my favorite phases of babyhood- and one that makes the transition from having a tiny squish to a toddling chunk- is introducing my kiddos to food.  my two bigs were ready and raring for food shortly before 6 months and took to it quickly and easily.  this little guy, however, is still a bit unsure, and even well past the 6 month mark is still testing the waters with the whole concept of eating anything that isn't straight from mom's tap.  it's taken some adjusting for me to recognize and learn how he needs to approach food- but it sure did make for a fun video :)

let's tell the truth

here's a little story for you.  it's called "life is really freaking hard with young children but you should take pictures of yourself doing it anyway".  it goes like this:

you have a baby.  you love that baby more than anything ever in the entire universe.  you take pictures of everything the baby does, (including but not limited to the first time a snot bubble appears).  you want to take some pictures of you with the baby too, but you want to wait to take pictures of yourself with the baby until you have a chance to shower and look like a human being again.  you go on taking all the pictures of everything the baby does with your phone while simultaneously trying to survive the endless days of diapers and booger noses and meal after meal after of carefully prepared food that ends up on the floor.  eventually you realize you still haven't taken any photos of yourself (at least that have your face in them) with the baby because you still feel like someone took the word "frump" and stuffed it into what used to be your body but you're pretty sure is now just a floppy skin bag with a few oily strands of hair sticking out of the top.  so then you take a deep breath and decide to get over it and take some pictures with that baby... and the other two babies that have arrived in the interim.  those pictures look like this:

 

10 years later, you get a shower.  after that you go buy jeans that actually fit you.  you wear those jeans while cooking food that you get to eat before it gets cold, and then you sit down on a sofa that's not covered in legos or old cereal or mystery stains that you covered with a dish towel last thursday. once you sit, you pour over a photo album that has pictures of you with a mom bun and crusty pajamas and babies who are looking at you with expressions that have "you are my world" written all over them- and you don't even care that you used to look that awful.  because those days were hard, and long, and you cried, and you wished they would end while also praying that your babies would stay little, and you have these photos as proof that they happened, and they were real, and that you all made it out to the other side a little stronger and closer and happier because you loved each other when things weren't beautiful, and you still love each other now, and you know you'll go on loving each other because you made it through the trenches together.

when photos aren't enough

in case you haven't noticed, i really love taking photos.  i take them of my kids, my husband, myself, my family, and my friends.  i take photos of interesting light or pretty plants.  i take photos of the rain and the snow and the sunshine.  honestly, there's not much i won't take photos of because i enjoy creating them and i think they have a lot of value (even if i'm the only one who sees it).  

but sometimes, no matter how hard i try, a photo can't quite capture the memory i want to preserve.  photos bring so many amazing memories flooding back, but they can't record my kids' sweet little squeaky/raspy/babbly voices.  they can't show how quickly expressions morph from angry to sad to giggly.  and that's why i decided to start learning how to create videos as well as photos.

my goal for this year is to make at least 2 videos per month of something- whether it's my kids or myself or my kids and myself or what a gorgeous day it is outside or whatever.  i want to learn how to take videos that capture just a little bit more than a photo is able to.

so here it is- video one of the year- a short and sweet little film of my kiddos doing what they do best.

third baby blues

you may think, based on the title, that this post is going to be all about how sad i am that i've had my third baby and am now done having babies, especially since this one seems to be growing up 10,000x faster than his brothers did.

but you'd be wrong.  i won't be emotionally capable of writing that post for another 6 months or so (insert winky face here).

no, this post is just a brief observation of the hardships of being the third kid.

day 10|365.4:

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he wants to play with them.  so badly.  he watches their every move.  he has started reaching for them.  he cries when they walk away.  but all he can do is sit, quietly taking all of it in (and sometimes, not so quietly), so that one day he is ready.

i don't think i ever will be, but i'm looking forward to it just the same.

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on trying again

i just wrote a big long blog post that was very well thought out and carefully constructed and heartfelt and just lovely in every way.

sort of.

but anyway, then the internet ate it, and i'm angry about that and still feeling a little grouchy about the bad hair cut i got this afternoon, and the baby could wake up at any moment, so instead of attempting to re-write it, i'm going to give you the cliff notes:

- it's been a long time since i blogged

- a lot has changed since i first started photography (and the corresponding blog) in 2015

- i want to try blogging again but i need to be realistic about how much time it takes and how much time i have

- i'm going to start to blog again as often as i can about a random variety of things including, but not limited to: my daily photo, my daily photo plus bonus photos and/or stories, things relevant to photography, photos other people pay me to take

sorry this wasn't a more eloquent return to my little corner of the internet.  hopefully in the not too distant future, i'll be able to write and then actually share a well written post without it disappearing into nothingness.  until then, here is today's image (and a few extra) as a thank you for joining me here in this little space i call my own.

day 6|365.4: what happens when you leave your 5 year old "in charge" for 30 seconds 

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i can assure you, no babies were harmed in the taking of these photos.  he actually thought it was pretty hilarious.

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